Messed Up Mah Blog

Will work on it later LOL :)

Like Waves In An Ocean

My depression, that is. Today was a bad day. I have no idea why. It comes and goes without any rhyme or reason whatsoever. As I was lying in my bed today (all day) I began thinking about how my depression comes and goes like the waves in the ocean. The small waves come in and then fade back into the sea, again and again and again, and its normal...you're happy, you're sad, you're happy, you're sad...it's life right. And then out of fucking nowhere a Tidal Wave comes screaming towards you full force and sucks you away, deep deep into to the nowhere land that is the great blue ocean. You're thrown violently in all different directions until you can no longer take it and just submit to the ruthlessness of the beast. The longer you're under, the easier it is to give up and sink deeper, deeper, deeper, until the moment when nothing matters anymore. Luckily today was just part of the normal ebb and flow but I knew I could get sucked back under at any given moment. I forced myself out of bed for approximately an hour then climbed back in until I had to go get the kids. And then I promptly went and bought myself an exercise bike and I'm going to set it right next to my bed. Whenever the weatherman warns of a tidal wave I'm going to jump on my boogie board and ride that mother fucker out. Starting goal is to ride 50 miles a week. The endorphines are supossed to help with depression so bring it on!!!!!