Long Break

Have been super busy lately...school is more time consuming than I thought it would be but so far so good. Oh what I wouldn't give to go back and go to school sans kids, marriage, and responsibility! Those kids have it made and don't even know it!!!!

Took DJ to an endocrinologist yesterday and it was a complete waste of time! I have no idea why they sent us to one but oh well! We spent 5 looong hours in the car...on the way back we stopped and picked up a set of dual dvd players because I was NOT having a repeat of the trip up there on the way back! Plus, with the move to Florida coming up they are a definite NEED lol.

Cleaning and going to class today but just wanted to jump on here and say HELLO!!!!!

In Bed

I've been in bed for the past four days. I'm wondering if I have some weird strain of the swine flu! We had to take DJ to the ER the other day (more about that in a sec) and I think I picked something up there even though I was the crazy lady pulling out my sanitizer every 5 seconds! I would even sanitize my hands before I touched a door know, sanitize the knob, then re-sanitize my hands! I really don't know how this happened! BUT...the only thing really wrong w/ me is my whole ENTIRE body aches and it feels like I have been weighted down with lead. It's horrible.

So, got a call from the school on Friday when I was on break from my classes and it was the nurse. "Hi, this is so and so and we have DJ in the office w/ a bump on his head." Um, ok..you're calling me for a bump on his head...whatever! But so I'd look like the awesome parent I am (lol) I ran up to the school to see it and it was HUGE! I've never seen anything like it..seriously. It stuck out a good 2 1/2-3" from his head. So we decided to take him home and watch him. And then we noticed that his speech was slow and slurred and he was looking a bit like a lunatic! So off to the ER we went. Let me go on record that I.Hate.The.ER. They didn't seem very concerned and we sat there for THREE hours and still did not get seen. I got pissed off and left and just decided to keep a close eye on DJ. After 3 hours he was acting normal again and NO WAY was I going to continue sitting there for another god knows how long and wait for a doctor to come in and say "oh he's fine...just a bump on the head."

I am NOT one of those mom's that freak out over every little thing and I hate the ER, did you get that yet, so unless I think something could be SERIOUSLY wrong with my child I won't step foot into one. DJ seems fine now..we are still watching him some but he's back to his old self thank God!

Looks like I'm headed back to bed now...I'm worn out from typing!

It's Official

I'm now officially a college "kid" lol! Well, technically, I will be when I go to my first class in about an hour lol! I'm excited and really looking forward to back to school shopping for myself! New clothes, new makeup, new hair stuff, new purse...new whatever I want lol..I can't wait!!!!

Absent

I took a vacation I guess. I kinda got into a funk and didn't feel like writing about anything. We've been so busy my head is spinning.

We've moved next door to our old house which would seem like it would be easier than moving across country or even across town but it is the biggest pain in the ass ever. I can't wait to pick up and move across country to Florida in a few months.

Despite my earlier feelings of being terrified I'm now ecstatic. I need to get away from here. My kids deserve all that I can offer them and I think Florida has a whole lot more to offer for my family than Arkansas.

What's weird is one of my biggest hangups about moving was...don't laugh......the funreals I was going to miss. I am not a morbid person and no I do not enjoy funreals at all BUT there are just some funreals I never thought I wouuldn't be at....like my 91 year old neighbor. I've known her since I was just a kid. She fell not long ago and broke her hip and she's still not walking well and probably never will again..it hit me then that I'll be gone when she dies and won't be able to say a final goodbye. That makes me sad. Then there are my two great aunts...both well into their 80's...I know I won't be back for those either. There are a few others and it makes me sad but we have a life to live in Florida.

Among the moving Jer has been gone for a week in Little Rock doing some drill time for the reserves. He goes back this tuesday for another week and then he's done 'til Sept. He's also reenlisting while he's there...not really out of want but out of need. We NEED the money...being unemployed has hurt us badly.

Lucky for us college starts the week after and we'll get our student loans which will carry us the next few months and help with our move to Florida. Plus...I have decided to go back to school. So Jer and I both start the Monday after next. I'm taking a bunch of classes he's already taken so we don't have to buy books!!! I'm going to get my teaching degree in history and hopefully will be able to coach highschool softball in a few years.

Is teaching for me? I'm not really sure but I love softball and I want to coach but more importantly, I want to be home with my kids during the summers and holidays. The way this will all work out is by the time Spencer is ready to go to school, I'll have my degree and can start working. He won't ever have to go to daycare because Jer and I are going to classes opposite hours. Fingers crossed this all works out the way we want it to.

On top of everything else, I had to get the kids registered for school last week. BUT I had none of their paperwork. So I had to go on a search for shot records, go to the social security office to have new cards made for all of us ( I think the kids buried our old ones in the back yard grrrr) and basically run around like a chicken with my head cut off.

My house went all to hell last week so I am busy cleaning it today! I start watching a new baby tomorrow for a friend. We need the money and I'm giving her a great deal so it works out for all of us.

And soccer starts in 2 weeks. And like an idiot I signed up to coach again. What was I thinking???? I sign up to coach every season so I can get my kids pictures half off at picture time lol. Oh well, this will be the last season I coach for sure but I am totally looking forward to watching the kids play again. Get ready for lots of pics and videos!

Well for now I'm outta here....gotta go clean clean clean!!!!!

We're Moving

To Florida. Excuse why I go throw up now. NO, not because I don't want to move to FL but I'm terrified of change. The move is about a month away and already the anxiety is KILLING me. Where are we going to live, where will the kids go to school, where will we work, where will we go to school, can we survive financially in florida???? I'm absoultely terrified. Petrified. But that is where Jer wants to go, his family lives mostly in florida, so thats where we are going. It's a good time I think...the kids are just starting school so its not like they have to change schools. The weather down there is absolutely amazing and we plan on getting season tickets to either disney world or busch gardens and the kids will love that. On top of all that there is a lot more culture down in florida...there are museums and outdoor concerts, aquariums, art shows...I'm sure there is more that I don't even know about. Even though I can see all the positives I'm still FREAKING out. I think I may go hide in my closet until moving day gets here!

Anyone who lives in florida or who has lived in florida tell me why you LOVE it!!!!

Hi, My Name Is Jaime,

And I'm Uninsured. And I'm Pissed! I don't care that he got fired damnit!!! I just want my health insurance back! Kids can be covered by the state and hubs can be covered by the VA but lil' 'ole me is SCREWED. NO INSURANCE AND I TAKE LIKE 10 MEDS.A.DAY! What am I going to do??? Ughhhh.

In other news, I went for a second walk today and I feel wonderful. I walked in flip flops too, lol. Don't worry I won't be doing that again. But I HATE wearing real shoes...I'm a member of the year round flip flop club. Yes folks, even when its snowing I've got my flops on! But from now on I will grudgingly don my tennis shoes before I walk...*sigh*...I better lose at least 20 lbs doing this!!!!

Fired

This sucks!

Life Change!

I have decided to lose 20 lbs as quickly as possible! I don't know how many times I've promised myself that I would get up and go walking or get up and go to the gym and I never do it. Last night was different...I made no promises to myself. But this morning I got up, planted my farm on farm town (the most addicting game ever I swear) and then decided to go for a walk. I put Spence in his stroller and put Murphy on his leash and off we went! We were only gone about 20 minutes BUT those 20 minutes kicked my butt...it's mostly up hill I swear! And now, I feel great! I always do after I work out.

AND I'm going to try to quit smoking AGAIN AND cut waaaay down on the booze AGAIN. Sigh...I just don't know what my life will be like without the nicoine and booze BUT I'll be a hell of a lot richer I'm sure!

And all that extra money will help in hubs does in fact get fired today. He will find out at 11am...so like an hour and a half. I'm nervous but I know that we'll make it through whatever happens!

Hope everyone had a great fourth! I had a REALLY loooonnnng weekend...I'll post about it later!

Busy Around Here Lately

I haven't been posting much but we've been crazy busy....

1. We put our house on the market. Fingers crossed it sells quickly. And no, not because we are trying to buy another house or anything like that...I need it to sell quickly because do you know how hard it is to keep a house SHOW ready with 3 kids, 2 dogs, 2 cats, AND a husband. DANG HARD!

2. We've spent the past two weekends at my mom's which is an hour and a half away. She has a huge pool and my kids have taken to swimming like white on rice.

3. T-ball has ended thank GOD. I love watching him play but it is sooo dang hot! And Spencer is always all over the place so I spend half the game chasing after him. Last game he made it onto the field and was playing with bats WHILE a batter was hitting before I noticed..Bad Mommy Moment. It scared the shit out of me.

4. We are trying to buy a new Surburban and we can't find one that we LOVE and that eats up a lot of our time.

5. My MIL and her husband came to visit us for a few days and we were going going going the ENTIRE time they were here!

Summer is just busy busy busy! We are packing up to head to my moms again and to the lake for 4 days. Next weekend Jer has Drill so we will probably head back to my moms AGAIN lol.

Bad news is Jer may be getting fired. Shitty shitty news. He got called in on Sunday night at 2am to go do some emergency surgery. He has to be there w/in 30 minutes. We were an hour and a half away and didn't have a clue that he was on call. So, its considered a no-show which is grounds for termination. He went to work on Tuesday and was called into the bigWigs office and placed on a 3 day suspension. We are praying that they don't fire him but he says he is 99% sure he is fired.

I don't understand why they would suspend him for 3 days if they planned on firing him all along...why not just fire him. Oh well I guess we'll find out next monday....everyone keep your fingers crossed!

Grammy came to visit and wore the Big Kids OUT!!!

Wordless Wednesday

Can't Believe June Is Almost OVER

In the past few years, June has not been an easy month for me. I get depressed and start crying for no reason around the end of may and have no idea why. Then it dawns on me. June is approaching. At that point I just try to survive the month.

June used to be such an exciting month for me when I was growing up..HELLO it was my birth month! Then on June 10th 2002 my dad passed away suddenly from a rare form of leukemia. We found out on Saturday that he was sick and he died that Monday.

Two years later my Grandmom passed away on my birthday. Hubs and I were living in North Carolina and we were coming home for my birthday. When we got to Memphis, TN my mom called and told me that Grandmom was in the hospital but that "she would be okay." I got off the phone and started bawling because somehow I KNEW she wasn't going to be okay. We of couse sped the entire way to Fort Smith and when we got to the hospital I was able to talk to her and she got to see DJ and rubbed my belly (I was pregnant with Mads) and told me how much she loved all of us. I held her hand as she slipped away and then stayed in the room while the nurses took out all the IV's and cleaned her up.

I miss them both terribly but this June has been different. I think because of all that's going on with DJ I've been distracted and busy enough not to dwell on it. That is a good thing!

On the DJ front, the doctor called us today and he has been referred to an ENT at children's hospital in Little Rock. It will probably be a few weeks before we get an appointment though but we are still very hopeful!

Spent My Birthday at the Hospital

WooHoo. I turned 28 today. BLAH. That means 10 years ago I had just moved out into my first apartment with my boyfriend and was SO excited that I was FINALLY 18. And of course we partied like cracked out monkeys that night in celebration of the BIG.EVENT.

My my how times change lol. Last night was spent trying to keep DJ up as late as possible so he would sleep in for as long as possible this morning. My friend kept the other two so DJ wouldn't be woke up early. He couldn't eat after midnight and his MRI wasn't scheduled until 1pm. That's a long time for a little boy who eats and eats and EATS, so we kept him up all night.

Our plan worked! He woke up around 10:30 and off we went to the hospital. He was wonderful and so were our doctors and nurses! The anetheisologist let us go back into the MRI room with DJ and we stayed with him until he was completely under. Then we went and had a bite to eat since neither one us dared to eat in front of him today and then returned to the waiting room.

Finally, he was done and he went to recovery. The nurse came and got us before he woke up so he wouldn't be scared. He was HARD to wake up lol but he finally came to. Within an hour of us leaving the hospital one of the neurologists called us and told us he found a small cyst or polyp high up in DJ's sinus cavity AND its in VERY close proximity to his left optic nerve so its POSSIBLE that if it is removed that DJ's vision might improve. CROSS YOUR FINGERS! So the neurologist sent it to an ENT doc and he is supossed to call me tomorrow.

We have HOPE again people. If you pray please pray or just keep my sweet little boy in your thoughts!!! And thank God for all the people today that helped DJ and told us the MRI results long before we would have known anything if Jer didn't work at the hospital.

So, yeah I spent the big 2 8 at the hospital being scared, worried, anxious, terrified...you name it but it was a pretty good day!

Wordless Wednesdays

Pre-Op Appointment

Just got back from our pre-op appointment for DJ's MRI tomorrow. I talked to his regular doctor about his recent diagnosis of Optic Nerve Aplasia and asked him if there was any chance the condition could improve or be treated with growth hormones and he answered me with a resounding NO. I knew better than to expect anything different but I guess in the back of my mind I held out hope. He was the man who literally saved DJ's life when he was less than a month old...surely he could "cure" his vision.

I knew better though. God damnit I knew better. I knew the answer would be no. I KNOW that the medical community would have to come through with some major medical advances before the possibility of DJ regaining some of his vision were possible. But I HOPED. And then I cried.

That a little baby I cried in front of my kids, in front of the doctor...like a baby. I felt like I had been sucker punched in the stomach all over again. The complete and utter devastation was there all over again.

The doctor hugged me. Assured me that it wasn't my fault or DJ's fault. That nothing could have prevented it. I guess he saw through me and saw the guilt I carry around because I wonder if it is my fault. I mean I had no IDEA I was pregnant with DJ until I was almost into my second trimester. I continued on living like a lot of 21 year olds...party party party. What IF it's because I was so fucking stupid that he is legally blind. The what if's could swallow me up and spit me out I think.

So today is a hard day. Not as hard as the day we initially found out but still hard because somewhere deep in me I held out hope that the doc that provided a miracle for us once before would deliver one yet again.

I'm going to get busy cleaning my house and keeping my mind off this for now. Tomorrow we go for an MRI and then after that we see an endocrinologist. Fun Stuff!

Wordless Wednesday

Birthday Boy

Happy Birthday Spencer! My "baby" is a year old today. I'm more than a little sad since he'll probably be my last baby! :( Or maybe I'll just go find some random guy and get myself knocked up and pawn it off as Hub's kid! I'm kidding I'm kidding!

I'll be back with a more thourough post later....today is taking a toll on me. Spent all morning on the phone with VA reps regarding hub's GI Bill...some of those people have their heads so far up their....well you get the point.

My last phone call ended with me hanging up and then SCREAMING at the top of my lungs.." I HATE THE VA!!! ARGHHHHHHH!!

Seriously, I threw a tantrum. I'm over it. My kids thought it was hilarious.

"Do it again Mommy!," they exclaimed over and over while giggling. I told 'em nope that was something mommy just had to let out before I popped like a balloon. They thought was even funnier!

Weird kids I tell ya. So now we're getting ready to head out to buy a pool. They can't wait to go get it so I figure I'll drag them to Target and WalMart and threaten them with the pool if they don't behave...then we'll head to Toys R' Us.

BTW, I hate that store. Ours is dirty and dingy and the return policy SUCKS. But, we got a giftcard for Spencer's birthday and the pool I want is 50% off this week plus the giftcard and it'll cost me a whopping 5 bucks! Can't beat that!

Please pray that I don't end up on the news when I go to the VA tomorrow. I don't want to be THAT woman but those VA people really know how to push my buttons!

My First Award!!!

I got this awesome award from an Awesome Blogger! Go check her out!

http://backwardslifeliving.blogspot.com/

Here are the rules:

1) Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link.

2) Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you’ve newly discovered. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

So here's my picks..they're not newly discovered but they are some of my faves:

1.http://www.multislackingmama.com/

2.http://migrainemom.blogspot.com/

3.http://greedygrace-greedygrace.blogspot.com/

4. http://debbie61497.blogspot.com/

5.http://heartontheline.blogspot.com/

Those are my top five...15 is A LOT of blogs lol!

Wordless Wednesday

Star Student

DJ was awarded Star Student at the pre-K graduation ceremony today. He was the FIRST one called up on stage and he was ecstatic.

In previous assemblies if he didn't get to go on stage for student of the month or most improved he was devastated.

But his star student award is his pride and joy. He's over the moon about it and I'm over the moon about him right now.

Maddie received an award ribbon that says "I Did It" because even though she's not in the older class she is still going to kindergarten next year.

I took pics but they didn't turn out very good...I think my camera was on the wrong setting. I may post one or two...I know I still haven't posted pictures from wet and wild..maybe tomorrow.

DJ being dianosed legally blind has really put many things into perspective for me. When we first heard the news we were beyond devastated and in a way we still are but now I'm finding a lot of the little joys in life that we all probably overlook too often.

The other day I saw a Dad pushing a girl on a swing on my way to get the kids from school and it just put an extra ounce or so of joy in my day. Something the day before I probably wouldn't have even given a second thought to.

We are strong. He is strong. And no matter what we're going to make it and have a great time doing it!

First Try At a Video

DJ scoring one of many goals!!!!

Wordless Wednesday

Eye on the ball.........

ARE YOU READY??? He's impatient!

This is DJ "blind" playing soccer! My kid is AMAZING! :)

Sucker Punched

Have you ever been sucker punched? I felt like I had been yesterday when we found out our "news." We were sitting in that doctors office waiting for him to give us good news. To tell us that SOMETHING could be done to help our child.

The doctor could barely look us in the eyes...he didn't want to tell us that our son would never be NORMAL. Jerry and I have dreamed of giving DJ a mustang when he turned 16 so I asked the doc if he would be able to drive. The answer was a very definitive NO, NEVER. That was the sucker punch.

NEVER drive???? So scratch the mustang..no big deal in the big picture but what about driving himself to work, driving his pregnant wife to the hospital, driving his family around..I know they are all menial things but they are things that we all take for granted every day.

Standing in that doctor's office I broke down. It literally felt like all the air was sucked out of my body..I couldn't breathe. It's just one of the joys of panic attacks but this one was rough. I finally pulled myself together enough to go check out and we leave.

Yesterday I was an emotional wreck..I just couldn't pull myself together. By the end of the day I was sick from all the crying and the roller coaster of emotions but today I'm a little better.

DJ has a beautiful spirit and a real zest for life. He takes such joy in the little things. He is truly amazing at soccer...hey, I need a sticker that says my blind kid can kick your kids ass in soccer lol. He's good at tball, great in school, and overall a pretty good kid. He has his moments but who doesn't?

I know he will do great things and he won't let a little thing like not being able to see stand in his way! He will brighten peoples day, he'll still be my sweet little boy, and he may even inspire people.

Jerry and I have decided that he is to be treated no differently than he was before. We are not going to treat him as if he is disabled. Just like with the adhd...he doesn't know why he takes medicine every day, he just takes it and goes on his merry little way.

I know things are going to be crazy around here for awhile as we all adjust so any thoughts or prayers would be greatly appreiciated!

Short Post

It happened. DJ was declared legally blind today. I'm too emotionally drained to go into it right now. I've been crying since around noon and I'm just spent. I'm going to go take my crazy pills, a few xanax, some tylenol pm, my wine and try to call it a night. I just need to forget tonight and get some sleep.

I'll come back and post details later along with those pics I promised.

Also, I 'm going to try and post a video I took of my "blind" kid kicking ass at soccer tonight....

No Pics Yet...

So I went to the wet-n-wild thing. Stood around taking a bunch of pictures for about an hour. Madison let me know I could go now when she stood there with her hands on her hips and said "mom you can go now!"

Uh, thanks Mads for your permission to leave! Jeez!

So I went and told DJ I was leaving and kissed him and he wiped my kiss off little stinker!

Wet-n-Wild

NO this is not a pornographic post although it sounds like one lol. Today is Wet-n-Wild today at school. Parents are encouraged to attend..oh yay! I don't want to go. I know its horrible but this is my next to last Friday alone with Spencer before Summer Break...I want to enjoy it.

But I am going...see what a wonderful freaking mother I am. You wanna know why I am going? Of course you don't but I'm going to tell you anyway. I'm going so I can work on my tan. I'm going with Baby Oil on...I'm tired of being as white as a ghost. Don't worry I won't burn. Kinda funny I will be slathering all 3 of my kids with sunscreen while I'm covered in oil!

I am dreading this so much. Just imagine an entire school of wild wet kids running all over. I'm sure I'll get some great pics though which you know I'll make you look at later cause I have to show off how awesomely (is that even a word...I think not) cute my kids are!

Tonight is t-ball for DJ. Mads has told me that maybe she will play next summer. I am trying to bribe her with gymnastics classes.

Me: If you play t-ball I'll sign you up for gymnastics. Won't that be fun!!!

Mads: Um, let's just do gymnastics!

Me: No you have to prove to me that you will finish what you start so I don't waste more money on your activities.

Mads: Ughhhh ok mom I'll play next summer.

Me: No Mads you have to play tomorrow night.

Mads: Fine mom...said in a 13 years old attitudey ( not a word either I know ) voice.


Ya'll that girl is going to give me a run for my money I tell ya. She's like a 16 year old in a 4 years old body. Scary people...The entire country should be afraid of her!



I know I'm rambling but yesterday at our soccer game I was talking to another mom about DJ being considered legally blind and she said he was AMAZING and an INSPIRATION. She was like "no way he can see..look how good he is..his footwork is amazing!" I'm going to get a cord for my video camera and try and put a video on here of his footwork because it is absolutely amazing. He totally ruled that field yesterday!

Did You Know?

Cat owners are up to 40% less likely to die of cardiovascular disease than not cat owners! Pretty interesting..wonder if since I have 2 cats I'm 80% less likely...haha. Just thought it was interest little fact that I'd share from All You magazine!

Also from that magaizine is my horoscope.

Here is what it says: "Let it go. Put it down. Fold it up. Tidy it away. Leave it alone. Forget about it. Do something else instead. Focus your attention elsewhere. Anywhere. It hardly matters. But allow some kind of distraction to enter your life. This is the only way you are going to gain perspective. Next month, that's what you need more than anything else. You are too close to a sensitive situation. Because you don't have objectivity, you are dwelling on details that are confusing. Mars in your sign brings a break from all that in July. Beome clear--and then you'll have a real victory!"

I really hope this is true for June. I have been dwelling on DJ's upcoming eye appointment and its making me crazy. So if its true it looks like there may be brighter days ahead! Fingers Crossed!

Wordless Wednesdays!

It's Official...

I'm losing my mind. I went to the post office today to mail some stuff off and I'm walking out to my truck and I hear someones car running. I look around and there is nobody sitting in an idling car. Weird right?

Yeah....I left my truck running when I ran into the post office! I'm such a dork. Glad nobody decided to take it!

Batting 1000

So last night we had our second t-ball game. We had sooooo much fun cheerin for our lil guy. Mads didn't play but we are trying not to push her...the kids on that team are 2 years older than her and I think she feels a little intimidated by them. She's told me twice now that she's "nervous" so we're just going with whatever she wants to do. Hopefully she'll come around but who knows.

So back to the game...it was a close one! We only beat them by one point! I was the crazy mama jumpin up and down for the team but then again I wasn't the only one! DJ only got to bat once but he made it all the way home and that was exciting! Right now he's playing right field so he doesn't get much action on the field but that kid is READY. EVERY.SINGLE. TIME!!!

Watching him interact with the rest of his team was a little disheartening. He is terribly shy until he gets to know people and then he's a total clown. He was just sitting there hanging out, not cheering like the other boys and it was a little sad.

After the game was over we had this parent come up to us and he introduced himself and was like "can I talk to you guys? I don't want to be offensive but...."(Now I think he is going to be like "ma'am I understand that you like to take a LOT of pictures but can you kindly remove yourself from the field lol) Instead he said "can I pray with you for your son. (Insert initial anger and then tears) We said sure and he prayed for DJ and said that the Lord was going to give us a miracle and cure DJ's sight. (Just a note..I am crying as I write this and I don't cry but it really impacted me) So we're sitting there in the middle of a tball field and I am trying to hold it together. Some stranger is out there PRAYING for MY BABY so that he can SEE and be NORMAL. I haven't prayed in a VERY VERY long time...probably not since my dad died because I was so angry with god for taking him away so early. BUT I PRAYED MY HEART OUT LAST NIGHT.

I want so much for him to be able to see and play like other normal children. I want him to have a NORMAL life not be hindered by his eyes the rest of his life. I would do anything to make sure everything would turn out ok for him. I told the parents on his tball team that he had been diagnosed as legally blind so they wouldn't think he wasn't paying attention or just stupid and they were all so understanding. This guys wife must have told him and he told us he felt "called" to pray with us and that God had told him that DJ was going to be ok. GOD I HOPE HE IS RIGHT.

We have an appointment next Tues. in Tulsa and we are hoping for the best. I don't know that I've ever asked for prayers on here or anywhere else really but please if you pray, pray for my little boy. Pray that he can see and enjoy all the wonders this wonderful life has to offer him. Pray for me to be strong and not be bawling while typing a blog post lol. We need all the prayers we can get for his sight and our strength!

Being Green

I tried really. I tried really hard but I'm just not as green as I want to be...I HAVE to have my paper plates. I hate doing dishes and since giving up my paper plates I am doing dishes sometimes twice a day. So, I am buying paper plates again. And my sparkling water that comes in bottles...sorry earth!!!!

T-Ball

Had our first game tonight and we won 14-9. Madison wouldn't play and I'm thinking of just taking her off the team because I am not going to fight her to play every single game. DJ had fun! He hit the ball and he even fielded one...he was estatic.

The coach on the other team though..OMG. He was screaming and yelling at his players. Our parents were cracking up at the chaos that we are calling tball. It was hilarious. All the kids ran toward the ball no matter where it was and then instead of throwing it to first they would run the ball over to first. Funny stuff.

So at one point, one of the other teams players didn't step on a base. The ump saw it and called the kid out. So our next turn at bat we had the bases loaded and a kid hits a home run. That other coach came out screaming that the kid didn't touch third. SCREAMING. Me, being the big mouth I am, hollered out My God People, It's Just T-Ball!!!! It was nuts. Ump ruled that the kid did in fact touch the base and I swear the other coach turned purple.

I want to get a shirt that says "Relax, it's just a game! I never imagined people would freak out over tball. I thought it was for fun...

Not a Good Post.........

Went to the eye doc for DJ today. That appointment sucked. Worst. Appointment. EVER. First, it was just me, DJ and Spence. Spence was a pain in the ass. But was even worse was when the nurse was trying to put eye drops in DJ's eyes. Wasn't happening. So I said "Want me to try? I used to do this for a living." So nursey hands over the drops and I try to put them in. It's a total no go. (Man where the fuck is Jerry...ooh yeah he's taking his last final...dumbass..(not really mad at him but man could I have used him!))

So what do I do....I sit on the floor and try to hold him down........NOT. HAPPENING. It took me and the nurse holding him down to get the damn drops in. I almost left but we preservered. Finally after a few gallons of sweat (why don't they air condition the crap out of doctors offices...nothing worse than being stuck in a room that is hot with two cranky kids) we got the drops in.

Doc comes in. Does his thing........And then I see his brow start to furrow...but he doesn't say anything. Finally he says "has he seen a pediatric opthamologist yet?" me: " uh year up until he was 3 and especially when he had his first eye surgery" Then NOTHING. Brow furrows further.

DOC: "He's not seeing too good out of his right (good) eye.

Me: How bad is it?

Doc: "Well he is legally blind in both eyes.

ME: WTF...tears........OMG.........tears.........R U SURE.........tears. OMG OMG OMG

My sweet baby boy is BLIND in BOTH eyes. We've always know about the left eye being bad (he has a lens thicker than a coke bottle on that side) but the right side has always been his GOOD side.

I'm worried about how this will affect him later on. It is just so sad. We have another appt for another opinion in July. Hopefully it will go better!

GREAT DEAL

I forgot to tell ya'll..yesterday when I went to Target and got FOUR digital picture frames for $89...they were normally $89 each so I basically bought one and got THREE FREE!!! Yea! Now I'm putting them in the mail for mothers day!

FREE STUFF

FREE 8x10 at WalGreens...TODAY ONLY!

Free food from KFC!
http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahshow/20090430-tows-kfc-coupon-download

Free dessert at Fridays on mother's day!
http://www.tgifridays.com/promos/momday09.aspx?source=email

When I Grow Up

This is all I've heard from my kids lately...Mads has decided she is going to have 6 babies, be an acrobat (see previous post) have a little dog, and yesterday asked who would be the daddy to her babies. Whoa girl...gettin ahead of yourself don't ya think? She tells me all the time what she's going to do when she gets her own house!

Her: "I'm going to have six babies."

Me: "Oh yeah whose going to clean up all the messes?"

Her: "Me."

Me: "Well you don't clean up after yourself now how are you going to clean a whole house?"

Her: " Well, you can come to my house next door and help me."

Me: "uh, ya think?"

So my girl has it all figured out at the ripe old age of four. All she has to do is pick out her babies daddy! She scares the ever lovin shit out of me. We've already decided we will ground her from age 13 to age 30!!!!

Holy Mother of GOD!

I swear it hasn't quit raining here in a month..ok I'm exagerrating but seriously I don't remember the last time I saw the sun. AND we're expected to have another 10 DAYS of rain. What the fuck, over? Seriously rain I LOVE you but I love you more when you bring your ole frind the THUNDER STORM. This bleak pathetic little snivels of rain just ain't cuttin it anymore. If you're going to continue crying on my life at least let me witness the dramatics that go with it. I'm sick of your pity party unless its full of drama!

So our soccer game of course was rained out today and our tball game was as well. That's good because I didn't have to sit in the rain but baaaaddd because my kids LOVE their sports. So to cheer them up we took them out to eat at a mexican place to celebrate Cinco de Mayo with a promise to take them to a big surprise if they ate their dinners.

The big surprise was the circus. Woo fun. I've never been to a circus but if I ever go to another one I'm going to make sure its a GOOD one. No, ONE elephant just isn't going to cut it for me. I expect at least one tiger and one bear in the act. And a bona fide trapeze act.. not two guys not really knowing what the hell they are doing.

But the most important thing is the kids had a blast. Maddie was more into it than dj though. She was dancing and clapping and was so scared when those guys were on the trapeze. But what is up with all the crap they try to sell you at the circus??? And people actually BUY it. The kids wanted these glo stick swords and we considered getting them one but they were $12 EACH. For real??? You want to spend $12 on something that won't glow tomorrow......ummm I think not.

The kids rode the elephant (which was another 10 bucks btw) and DJ was like whatever but Mads was TERRIFIED. It was hilarious. I don't think my girl likes heights and I so don't blame her.

DJ on the other hand wanted to go on this wheel thing contraption..you know where the guy walks around and around in and on a wheel and it go waaaay up in the air. He cried because he didn't get to try it. I told him it was only for big kids and he immediately replied "well when I get bigger I'm going to be in the circus and ride the wheel." Um, OVER. MY. DEAD. BODY. kid. We all know that circus performers are all estranged from their family and kinda freaky.

Don't most kids want to grow up and be doctors or astronauts???? Then Mads decided she was going to grow up and be an acrobat in the circus..........UGHHHH maybe I should start my own circus. Oooh I could call it "The Family Circus".........orginal ehhhh?

Breakfast in Bed......

Ehhh not really! So Jer and I were being lazy in bed this morning and Madison started talking about a mouse. Just jibber jabbering on about a mouse..we ignored her because my girl has a wild imagination. A few minutes later she came into the room and very nonchalantly put a baby mouse on my bed....ALIVE. WTF!?!?!? I screamed like a little girl and made her pick it up and give it to daddy.

Since we have lived in this house we have had live birds brought in to us, 3 moles, a rabbit's head (we found the body later..eww), crawdad's and today a freaking mouse!!!!

NO I do not live in the country!!!!!! I live in the city but appearantly my cats (now only cat) really love us because they keep bringing me these "gifts". Um, ewwwwwww.

Blech......

I'm not feeling so hot today. I have zero energy and a terrible cough. Maybe its the swine flu...KIDDING! I'm so sick of hearing about it though! Kids are outside playing in the street...luckily we live on a not so busy street!!!!

I can't seem to do anything right with Spence man today but of course that's the case since I feel like going to sleep and never waking up! Why do I only feel like crap on days that Jerry has to work? Monday he came home because I really thought I was going to die before I figured out that it was just a gallbladder attack!

Tomorrow I'm playing in a softball tourney so I CAN'T be sick!!! I haven't played in a game in almost 10 years (oh my shit I'm getting OLD) but I know its going to be a blast! Probably be a little sore but that's ok!

I'm starting my own little project called move it it may where I exercise for at least 30 mins every day...NO EXCUSES (except for today). Guess I'll start tomorrow!

Hope everyone has a great weekend...I know we're going to be crazy busy as usual!

If You Can't Stand the Heat...

Get Off the Field! So the kidlets had a soccer game last night and DJ was on FIRE! He scored 12 goals! Maddie scored 2 which is excellent since she usually just scores one a game and then gets bored!

So after the game our other coach comes up to me and Jer and was like "OMG I was so sick of those other parents! That one woman just wouldn't shut up!"

Me: "Really? I had no idea I guess I was too busy cheering for the kids haha"

Him: "Yeah they had a problem with DJ being TOO good and scoring too much"

Me: "haha well I guess its a good thing I didn't hear them..."

So appearantly some parents are just sore losers! I mean I'm sorry my kids a better soccer player than yours BUT isn't the point of the entire sport to SCORE goals!?!?! Appearantly they thought we should pull him out to let their team score more...UMMM NO. That kid practically sleeps with a soccer ball, no way am I going to penalize him for being GOOD!

So, its a really good thing I didn't hear these parents talking 'bout my kid...that would have been NO GOOD!

But appearantly DJ is making a name for himself. The other day Jer was talking to one of the doctors he works with who also happens to have a little girl in the same league and the dr asked jer what team we were. Jer tells him we're the turquoise team and the dr says..."THE ONE WITH THAT REALLY GOOD SPIKEY HAIRED KID!" Jer was like yeah and the dr said oh, we aren't looking forward to playing him, which kid is yours and Jer was like the spikey haired one! The doctor was amazed and told jer that he's made himself a lil reputation as being BAD ASS!

Yep people, that's my kid..he's awesome! They both are and I just love bragging on them!

Since this is my brag-a-lot post I guess I should mention that DJ was citizen of the month last month too! Mads was citizen of the month earlier in the year. Do I have bad ass kids or what!!!!

ATTACK

...of the KILLER GALLBLADDER! Ya'll I thought I was dying yesterday..seriously. I thought I might possibly be having a heart attack! It all started with this horrible pain in my stomach and then it moved to my entire stomach and then my back. I swear my back was on fire. I couldn't get comfortable, couldn't stand up straight, and could hardly breathe. Finally, after searching webmd for symptoms of a heart attack, food poisioning, I came upon the word gallbladder and I immediately called my mommy and asked her what her symptoms were like when she had to have hers out 20 some odd years ago. They were identical to my symptoms!

My attack lasted four and half hours and I must say I'd rather give birth every day for a year than to ever go through that horrible pain again! A gallbladder attack is like a contraction that never stops...it awful! So I guess I'm going to change my diet up some, stop drinking soda, and stop drinking my wine...BOO.

Today I'm still not feeling 100%....I think the pain just exhausted my body..I'm hoping I snap out of it quick cause my house needs me!!!!!!

A Little Late.....

But I want to put these pics on here!!!!

Buying Freeze

I am NOT buying anything else for the kids for the next month at least!! I started a treasure box to reward for good behavior and its working but somehow my spending has gotten out of control on them this past week. In the past week I have bought them 5 Tag leap frog books (all on clearance! so I can jusify this!) but I bought them even before I bouth the Tag systems. So, I've also bought the Tag systems. Two bouncy ball things..you know the balls that you sit on and bounce. soccer balls, baseball gloves, baseball pants, signed them both up for tball, chalk, playground balls (2), a skateboard, mario kart, a new wii bowling game and 2 movies and this is just what I'm coming up with off the top of my head.

I think I'm justifying the fact that i'm not spending it on myself so its not bad BUT it is bad. They are becoming spoiled so no more spending for awhile. Of coures the easter bunny will come but it will not be extravagant this year!!!!

It's been A Minute

But It's Spring here..............sorta. Depends on which day you ask mother nature! But we've been spending a lot of time outside working on our yard and putting our shutters up and our new front door!!! Plus shopping for even more DIY projects like insulating our attics...BLECH!!!! But we've been busy and its been a lot of fun.

I was very skeptical about making it through Spring Break but all in all we did ok. Practiced a lot for soccer and that seems to be paying off. We had our first game on Tuesday and DJ did awesome like always but the surprise of the game was that Mads not only did great but she had so much fun doing it!

I think its really going to help her that there are two other girls on our team this season that really want to play and they are really good so it will motivate Ms. Thang to do her best!!!

Speaking of sports..............bet ya'll didn't know I had twins now did ya? Well according to the tball forms I filled out for them today I have a 5 year boy and a 5 year old girl who are in Kindergarten and will be 6 years old before Sept. 15 2009. So they may be a lil small but I know they are going to totally kick ass! They have had their balls, gloves, helmets, bats, batting gloves, and batting bag since last year. Of coure DJ's is all blue and Mad's is hot pink!!!!

Here's some pics of their first game!

My Vacay!

No, I didn't really get to go on vacation but it seems I've taken one from my blog. So.......what can I tell you that's been going on here lately.......let's see......

1. DJ started taking adderall........I think it might actually be helping but we'll see...I'm still waaay skeptical but I was seriously at my wits end w/ that kid.

2. More drama in DJ's class.......his teacher had a fit over me bringing fruit on a stick to the Vday party instead of MORE cookies and cake. Fuck her...seriously. Really I wouldn't have an issue if she just would have said something to me but she didn't.........she actually thanked me for it and then bad mouthed me to the principal..Bitch!

3. We bought a new tv......Yay! Jerry loves it...I love the finished look it gives to my living room so whatever.

4. Then Jerry bought me another Wii.....I sold the first one we had because we weren't using it. We (and by me I mean I) are using this one. I try to Wii Fit at least once a day.

5. I haven't quit smoking yet but I'm still smoking less than 5 a day and only at night after the kids have gone to bed and I'm okay with that!

6. I am trying to lose weight...AGAIN...my 10 year reunion is coming up, so I have to do it this time.

7. Madison has been a pill lately. Really rowdy at school but we are working on it and she is still sweet as can be w/ me.

8. And finally, my little man, Spencer is jibber jabbering all the time now. He says mama all the time along w/ bye bye and daddy and even NO! He's hilarious and cute as can be and I promise I will get pics of them up soon!

And that is all.......I promise to make more of an effort.......

Bout time DUDE!

So little man got his first tooth on Saturday! Today I noticed that he's gettin his second tooth. He's getting sooooooooooooooooo big!!!!!!

Shots and Pepper Spray

Let me just set the scene for you.....last night I'm laying trying to take a nap w/ Spencer asleep in my arms. Jerry is in the kitchen mashing the potatoes to complete 2 of the 3 dinners I made yesterday. All of a sudden Madison comes tearing towards me with her hands over her eyes SCEAMING BLOODY MURDER! "MY EYES! MY EYES! DJ SPRAYED MY EYEEEEEEEEESSSSS!" I knew it was serious when she wouldn't stop screaming so I was like Jerry come here somethings wrong with Madison! And then DJ starts screaming "Ughhhh MY MOUTH! OUCH! OUCH! MY MOUTH! IT HUUURRRTSSS!"

Want to guess what she was sprayed with?





My first guess was windex. Then I rembered that handy dandy little keychain pepper spay that I bought the other day for the pitbull that looks at us like we're his lunch when we go for our walks. It was supossed to be childproofed.

My kids proved that it wasn't! Thank God Jerry was home to help me deal with the chaos that erupted around our house for the next 30 minutes. I was on the phone with poison control because as stupid as it sounds I was afraid to flush her eyes out with water in case the water made it worse or something. So I answered all questions and after about 5 minutes (glad it wasn't serious or anything) the lady said "okay go ahead and flush her eyes with water and let Derrick suck on a tums."

So we flushed her eyes and she hated every second of it. And DJ sucked on a popsicle because I don't have any tums!

Oh, and Spencer got his first round of shots yesterday! He took em like a champ! He was a little cranky later in the day but nothing major. So now we're playing catch up w/ shots but we should be caught up soon. He is the first out of all three of the kids that had his shots w/out Jerry there. I hate shots but even I did okay yesterday!!!

But after the pepperspray incident I drank me some wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!

News To Me

So a little over a week ago I found out that one of my friends bosses was a lever 4 sex offender. In the state of Arkansas thats considered a violent sex offender just in case you're wondering. So knowing that he had been around her children I called her terrified that she had been unknowingly allowing a level four violent sex offender around her children. Now being that this was her boss and it is also her husbands boss, I didn't expect her to quit her job because that would be stupid. She still has bills to pay and a family to support. But the reply I received absolutely blew my fucking mind. "Yeah, I've known for three years, no surprise here." she said to me.

Ya know what, that all fine and fucking well if its just your kids that have been around him but that's not the case. I have UNKNOWINGLY allowed my kids to be around him because I had no fucking clue. Had I known, the man would have never been with in a 10 mile radius of my children. She knew for THREE years and NEVER told me. Is it not her responisbility as a fellow mother to inform me and allow me to make a decision whether or not to make the choice to allow him around my kids? That is what I'm the most upset about. She allowed a sex offender to be around my children. She had zero right to let that happen. I am disgusted.

And then she tried to make excuses for him. Tried to tell me why he got bumped up to a level 4 offended. Um, well honey, he got bumped up because he took a 16 year old to a hotel room, drugged her, and tried to raped her...um, yeah that pretty much does it.

I have waited a little over two weeks to put this on my blog. I know I have to get it out but I'm not even sure that now is the right time. I'm not sure I'm getting all that I want to across. I feel like she left my children vulernable to a predator. This is supossed to be one of my best friends. And instead of ever saying she was sorry she defended herself and this sick mother fucker to me. And then she went on to tell me that I was ending our friendship of 9 years over a difference of opinion. How the fuck do you figure?

A difference of fucking opionion? Am I the only one that doesn't see that??? It's not a difference of opinion........its a matter of keeping my children safe at all costs. I would never expose her children to something like that. I am still somewhat dumbfounded by the entire situation. I am mad as hell and will never leave my kids with her again but yet DJ and Mads keep asking for her two kids who they have basically grown up with. I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place.

All either one of them really had to do was say I'm really sorry, I should have told you. I still wouldn't have let my kids go to their house but the animosity wouldn't be there. But I am overflowing with it. Almost to the point where its eating me alive. How can she take my kids innocence and even her own kids innocence for granted like that? There is no sense to any of it.

Crushing Realiziation

Today was a rough day in the Leatherman household. We are in the midst of trying to teach Spencer how to sleep through the night. Its so hard when he wakes up at 3 am and I know all I have to do is lay down with him and snuggle and pop a bottle into his mouth and we will both drift back into dreamland rather quickly but instead I have to get up and rock him and pat him and not give him his bottle. How cruel does that sound? But his doctor told me that he is old enough to not need to eat throughout the night and I agree but its hard and it sucks!

It other news. As you all know I wanted desperately to put the two big kids in daycare over Chistmas break. I didn't do it though and we actually had a pretty good time and I can prove it because they are both still living and breathing! During Christmas break though I had a really hard time w/ the boy. Yes, Maddie drives me nuts. That girl gets into everything! Just tonight she cut my measuring tape and she talks constantly but I think its pretty typical of a 4 year old girl. DJ on the other hand is constantly going. Sometimes I would swear that he is battery operated..he keeps going and going and going. I had serious suspiscions over Xmas break about him being ADHD but Jerry told me it was because he was cooped up and bored and my mom said the same thing so I let it go but OMG after today I am convinced and so sad that my sweed boy is afflicted with this. Looking back the signs have been there for a long time I think. I'm just not sure we knew what to look for and a lot we chalked up to him just being a kid. A lot I still do. Before we jump to medicine we are going to try Krill Oil and try to cut out Red dye 40 from our diet. ( I seriously used to think people were crazy for doing this but I'm desperate and will try anything.)

The biggest eye opener today was that after a dose of Loracet (more on that in a sec) he wasn't even phased. He was all over everything today. Climbing on my furniture. Jumping all over everything. JUMPING off my kitchen cabinets. Trying to put Spencer over the baby gates. Talking and sceaming and yelling non-stop. By the end of the day I was at the end of my rope.

Now here's why he was on Loracet...his second time to be on Loracet by the way..the first was when he knocked his tooth out on a step! Yesterday Madison and him decided (and I'm sure it was Madison's idea) to get into my skewers and he got his eye poked with one of them! (I can't tell you how many times I've told them not to play w/ the skewers because "somebody's going to get their eye poked out"...but what does mom know?) It happened around 10 am and we called his eye doctor and they told us that if it was still bothering him in a few hours to take him into the ER. He laid on me most of the day w/ his eye closed. The tv hurt his eye, the light hurt it, it was horrible! So around 3 we took him to the ER. They did this cool dye thing to his eye where they looked at it w/ a blacklight and it turned orange and he had a huge scratch right across his cornea. So they gave him antibiotic ointment and loracet for the next four days.

As much as I hate that he got hurt I have to tell you I was really looking forward to the subdued-ness the Loracet would deliver................I was VERY disappointed! I gave him tylenol at bedtime just in case the Loracet made him crazy cause this mama wasn't taking any chances!

I'm Such A Goofball!

So I'm all hooked back up on my laptop and here I am sitting at the desktop. Makes no sense to me....at all. But oh well at least I'm back on here right?

Things have been busy around here. I have started this year off on the right foot I think. I have made it ALL about me! Just kidding...sorta. I have decided this is my year to quit smoking (which I have done), to seriously cut back on my drinking (again I have done this too so far!) and to lose weight and I started on that this week.

I am not changing too much at once. I cut back on the Dr. Peppers I was drinking. I was drinking upwards of 6-8 a day and now I only allow myself 2 and instead chug down gallons of water! I've started taking some vitamins but need to add in a few more like a B Complex for good measure. And today I started walking. Yeah it was only for 20 minutes but it was mostly uphill pushing about 30 lbs worth of stroller and baby. I feel good.

My other big thing is to take better care of me in general. Doing my hair every day. Putting on makeup. The whole shabang!

And the best part of all of these changes is I think that if I can accomplish them and make myself a better person all around then I will in turn be a better mother to my children and that's what its all about!!!!

Oh, and of course I'm going to try to start trying to get on here at least once a day again. We'll see how I do!

Resolutions

#1. Get my laptop hooked back up so I will blog again. I guess I am the laziest person ever because its not like its hard to connect the battery thingy to my laptop and turn it on I just keep avoiding the task and then when I have something I want to write about I don't do it because it means getting up and getting on the desktop and I am really to lazy for all that. So, I am going to go hook up my laptop and will post again soon with the rest of my resolutions!

And for what its worth yesterday was my first completely smoke free day in over 6 years!!!!! Its pretty awesome!